Fear or Excitement?

I have been thinking a lot about fear lately.

Funny thing fear is, isn't it? It is quite powerful -

stops us from being, doing, engaging, connecting to ourselves and others and quite simply feeling safe - within ourselves and within the world at large.

It quite literally amps us up and then shuts us down, stops us in our tracks.

And yet, on the other side of fear -

Excitement!

How do we differentiate fear from excitement? Or utilize fear to follow our excitement?

I look at this question through the lens of the autonomic nervous system. The part of our nervous system that has been wired through lived experience to help us feel safe in the world. And yet, what kept us feeling safe when we were little, quite often keeps us feeling stuck when we grow up.

So many of my clients and inquiries are looking for the ‘how’ to get unstuck. My initial approach is oftentimes the same - no matter the presenting problem - a conscious look inward, toward bringing awareness to their autonomic nervous system. Beginning with showing people that their body holds the answer to their 'how' helps them feel more excited and empowered to continue on the path toward regulation and ultimately, the re-emergence of embodying their authentic selves.

Our natural state of being is regulation and presence. As mammals, we are wired to connect with ourselves and others. When we are born, we are totally dependent on our caregivers to co-regulate us when our autonomic nervous system becomes dysregulated. If our caregivers were unable to be present and consistently regulate us in a healthy way, our autonomic nervous system worked brilliantly to shut down any overwhelming emotions within us. And because our autonomic nervous system is wired through lived experience, it continued to follow the habitual, familiar pattern of shutting down emotions in an attempt to protect us. Brilliant. And outdated as we grow up gaining more resources, coping mechanisms, experience, knowledge and wisdom. Not to mention, the ability to self-regulate. And therein also lies the gold - the golden paradox, if you will. The very thing that is keeping us feeling stuck is also the pathway to set us free. It’s brilliant. And simple. Just requires turning our perspective inward. Inward to regulate our dysregulated nervous system, knowing that regulation transforms our fear into excitement.