Self-Compassion is Foundational to Self-Worth and Love

One of the biggest hurdles to healing I see in my practice is people not liking themselves. The negative self-talk, criticism and judgements clients have about themselves impede their ability to deeply heal and move forward in their lives.  It cuts to the core question: Am I worthy? I answer that question with all of my clients, as well as all who suffer, with a resounding YES! You are inherently worthy. And more so, you do not need to do a damn thing to prove your worth. This is often surprising to hear, given the emphasis that is placed on production in our culture, society at large and perhaps your family of origin. Love and worth are not transactional. They are inherent in each and every one of us. Most of us learned something different growing up. It felt to me that my worth was tied to how well I did in school. What job I held. How much money I made. Or how I cared for others in my life. Rarely was it ever just acknowledged that I was worthy just for being. Simply for being born. I had a lot of work to do around changing the narrative in my head about my own self-worth. In addition to the narrative from my mind, I also worked to release core emotions that were stored in my body around feeling unworthy.  Bringing awareness to how our mind and body work in tandem to keep us stuck in familiar patterning is imperative to being able to get unstuck and move forward in our lives. Self-compassion, for me, begins with treating myself with the care and love I would offer my daughter when she is hurting. It may be helpful to remember that we are our longest relationship. And that no one is more deserving of your love than you.  I realize this is a hurdle for some. And a process, not an end point. Not something to check off your list and move away from. But a cultivation of a new relationship with oneself. One that requires attention and care. Maintenance, if you will, like any strong, healthy relationship. And when you find yourself falling back into a habitual pattern of negative self-talk, to be gentle with yourself as you remember just how truly worthy you are.